At the first session, during a conversation with clients, I often hear the sentence: “I already have it all sorted out and arranged in my head, but when I find myself in a problematic situation, my body reacts in the old way, as if I hadn’t worked on the issue at all. I don’t know what to do about it.”
This is something that I also experienced myself, having the topic “analysed thoroughly in my head”, but not integrated in the body. My body just couldn’t keep up with my analytical mind.
We experience ourselves through the body. Our body remembers and we carry this memory within ourselves, in our cells, systems, body fluids. In order for the change to be permanent, our body needs to feel too, to create a new “chemistry”, new neural pathways. Our mind will not do it alone, it needs the body.
In a world that favours staying “in the head” – analysing, planning, solving – more and more women are beginning to feel the need to get back to themselves. But not to the “mental” self, but to the self on a deeper level, to the self also connected with the body. To the Somatic SELF.
What is the Somatic Self?
The somatic self is a way of experiencing oneself through the body – senses, emotions, tensions, impulses. It is an identity that is not based solely on thoughts, beliefs or what we say about ourselves. It is the “I” that first feels and then knows.
It’s a deep, bodily presence that allows us to really feel who we are, what we need, where our boundaries are, and where we want to go. The somatic self is not a theory – it is an experience.
Where is my home?
From childhood, we are taught that “reason” is to be our guide. Feelings need to be controlled as well as the body. Crying, anger, expressing one’s needs were often denied or shamed. Over time, we learned to cut ourselves off from the body and its signals in order to function effectively from our heads – analysing, predicting, adapting.
What is the effect of this? It is becoming more and more difficult for us to trust ourselves. We don’t know if the decisions we make are really ours. In relationships, we lose ourselves, giving more than we want. The body has ceased to be our home, and has become something that needs to be repaired or controlled.
Embedding yourself – feeling your own center
Feeling your own center is not a metaphor. It’s a real, physical experience of being “at home.” You can feel it as a space in the pelvis, a gravity center in the body, you can create your own image of the center and connect it with the sensations coming from the body. It is a place within you, that is only yours, and to which you can return at any time.
When we are embedded in ourselves, we become less reactive and more present. We begin to hear ourselves. Decisions cease to be forced analyses and become natural responses of the body. Intuition ceases to be a vague slogan and becomes a voice that we feel and her clearly.
How to build your Somatic Self on a daily basis?
- Stop and feel your body
You don’t have to meditate for hours right away. A few moments a day are enough to ask yourself:
How am I in my body? What do I sense now? Where is the tension? Where is the space? Where is the heat/cold?
- Move your body
Let your body guide you in motion. Don’t invent how you want to move, follow the movement you feel in your body. Dance, stretch, experiment. - Listen to emotions in the body
Anger can be tension in the jaw, fear – a tight throat, joy – warmth in the stomach. Emotions are energy in motion, when you start to feel them, you regain power. - Practice trust in sensations
Maybe something seems irrational “in the head”, but the body says: Don’t go there, or on the contrary – Yes, it’s good. Trust in yourself starts with trust in your body.
The Somatic Self and Our Relationships and Decisions
When we are connected to the body, we feel our own boundaries and are able to set them without feeling guilty. It is easier for us to say “no” where we need to, and “yes” where we want. We are starting to choose more consciously with whom we want to spend time or not. With greater calmness and trust in ourselves, we make decisions that are important to us.
***
The somatic self is not something that needs to be “worked out”. It’s something that is already in us, and we just need to rediscover it. When you are connected to your body, you become a more authentic, coherent, and present person in your life and in the world. Allow yourself to start feeling your body.
If you would like to try a 1:1 somatic coaching session, online or stationary, don’t hesitate to contact me: kontakt@exploreself.pl